Dealing with Facebook Advertisers (No, I really DON'T want to know about the miracle food that melts off fat)
Facebook is now targeting users with posts that look just like what your friends might send you. But half a sentence in, you realize they're really advertisements from FB sponsors. For example, I keep getting posts from some outfit called "Perfect Health for Men 55+." First off, I have no idea why they would send such ads to someone 10 or 20 years or so below their target demographic, but that's a topic for another post. And even if I believed they'd found some some miracle food that melted away the pounds, particularly for men 55 and over -- who apparently sport some special kind of fat alien to the rest of the population -- I don't want to see these damned ads every time I open FB.
At first, I resented the constant stream of ads from those mindless dolts at "Perfect Health for Men 55+." I only bought their product because I figured they'd turn off the spigot if I'd just ante up. Wow, I'm sure glad I did! I lost 10 pounds in only two days. TEN POUNDS! My genitals, shoulders, biceps and pectoral muscles all shrunk 50% after just two doses. Can you say S-L-E-N-D-E-R? Then all the hair on my chest and my head fell out. And now, when I put on my new toupee, people say I look like Justin Bieber ... well, like a "poor man's Justin Bieber," to be accurate. (That probably explains the hobo who keeps stalking me down by the railroad depot.) And I am so thrilled about my new-found ability to sing the high parts of my favorite Bee Gees tunes (stayin' alive, brother, just stayin' alive) that I don't mind the frequent debilitating headaches, occasional blurred vision and embarrassing anal leakage. I am one happy, if slightly soiled, customer.
Thank you, Perfect Health for Men 55+. Thanks heaps!
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