I've passed a milestone on Twitter after less than a week -- my first obscene proposition. Let me clarify: I received the proposition. The sender was a new follower -- number 10. I've already figured out that I shouldn't hit the "follow" button for buxom young strangers wearing feather boas, come-hither expressions and little else. But this one used a baby's face as her avatar, so I presumed she was just some proud young mother with a literary bent who wanted to tweet with authors. Safe enough, right? So I "followed" her back. (It was the least I could do, considering that she had bumped my follower list into the double digits -- which I call a groundswell).
When I awoke yesterday, I found a two-word message from my new buddy: "Wanna F@&%?" Hmm. I'm not used to seeing such offers on my Ipad first thing in the morning (or any other time of day, if you must know). I really had to question my new comrade's parenting skills; shouldn't she be feeding that baby instead of making lewd solicitations to strangers? Maybe I'm just too cynical. I'm still not up on Twitter protocol, and perhaps this was just the Twitter way of saying, "Hi, how are ya, neighbor? Welcome!" You know, kind of like taking a home-baked apple pie to the family that just moved into that old Victorian down the street?
As sincere and well-intentioned as my faceless pal's offer might have been, I had to decline. But I felt mean and ungrateful, considering how generous and giving she was -- so rare in this spam-or-be-spammed world of ours. Yes, I know there's a good chance that "she" is really some unbathed 65-year-old man living in a lean-to in the Sonoran Desert, half-smoked Newport dangling out of his craggy, unshaven face. (I'd have turned him down too). I do have to admit that for the briefest moment, I considered asking her/him to "Like" me on Facebook before breaking the bad news; she/he did seem fond of me. Instead, I just blocked her/him.
I don't want to end this post on a down note, so I'm pleased to announce that a new follower number 10 has replaced my Sonoran-Desert friend. I hope it works out this time.
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